Thursday, July 18, 2013

The world that lives within me…


I wonder if it happens to a lot of people. Standing in front of the mirror and wondering about the person staring back at you. Who the hell is this and why is it mocking at me? A few seconds later you realize that it’s someone you know or used to know. YOU!!!
It often happens to me, when I start questioning why I am here. Is this really the present? Am I between time and space or am I the space in between the time or the time flowing in between the spaces? Is there a larger purpose to my being here? Is what I am doing really what I should be doing?

Most of the times these questions haunt me and make me question everything around me. And questions are important. When you question things, it shows you still feel…that it makes a difference…that you are still living. I suppose, most of us merely exist. 'Living life' is a forgotten concept. When was the last time you danced in the rain, or bunked the office, took your car and went for a long drive?
We are born free and yet as we keep growing up, we get more and more bound in chains.

Feeling that sense of life, when things matter is what makes being alive awesome. Why are we so afraid to be happy? Too often I have heard people say, ‘Don’t be so happy. Sorrow will follow’ or don’t celebrate just yet, things can still go wrong. Yes; so sorrow will follow and things will go wrong. But don’t let go of the moments that can make us feel alive, or moments that give us a sense of happiness, don't run away from those little things that make for a deliriously happy spirit…
So yes, I love my life. With all its ups and downs, with all its happiness and sadness, for all the people that have looked down on me and wished me to fail, for all the times when I felt hopeless or hopeful, for all the times that tested my resolve or made me weak and helpless…I wouldn’t have my life any other way!

There is a whole different world that lives within me…A world in which I instinctively know that no matter how much you do for people, it will never be enough. But don’t stop doing it anyway. A world where I know that every step I take will be full of hardships and heartaches but also that a journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step. So take that step. A world where I am a master of my own destiny…A world where I know I am and will always be “ME”
So feel the feelings and don’t give up on living!!!

In words of William W. Purkey….
“You've got to dance like there's nobody watching,
Love like you'll never be hurt,
Sing like there's nobody listening,
And live like it's heaven on earth

Monday, July 8, 2013

Going back to my roots…


The so called Himalayan Tsunami has already hit the beautiful state of Uttarakhand…My birth state…And the discussions and analysis of what should or shouldn’t have happened still occupies prime time on television. But I want people to remember that amidst all the tragedy, there is always hope of resurrection. The state and the people will rise up and soon!
When I was growing up, there was no state of Uttarakhand. It was all a ‘BIG’ state of UP. So automatically we were all ‘bhaiyas’. Tell anyone I am from Dehradoon and they would go ‘huh’?.Where is that? Tell them I am a Garhwali and the jaw would just drop. Things haven’t changed so much but I now tell them you know where Badrinath and Kedarnath are? Well! That’s my birthplace…

The state is called Dev Bhoomi and for a good reason too. It’s a land which consists of peaks and valleys, known since ancient times to be the abode of gods and goddesses and the source of the Ganges River.
I have travelled across the globe, visited so many cities and towns, but never had the chance to explore my own state. Very few realize that there is so much more to Uttarakhand than Badrinath, Kedarnath or Haridwar and Mussorie. Six months ago I took a 2 week vacation and decided it was time to pay my respects to my birth place.

My journeys took me to places breathtakingly beautiful. One of my aunt’s is a teacher in a village primary school near a place called Chakrata. It’s a small town about 100 odd kms from Dehradoon. This town is surrounded by little hill villages. For the first time I actually saw a village and its simplicity and their struggle for basic needs left me speechless.
The trip from Dehradoon to Chakrata was along a winding steep road with breathtaking views of the naked mountains. If the phrase ‘The journey is more important than the destination’ would ever mean anything, then it did for me on that road. And I wished the road would never end.

The town is an access-restricted military cantonment area and has restrictions on visiting foreigners.
The Research & Analysis Wing, India’s intelligence service have their base in Chakrata. It is therefore a strategically important town. The area is known as Jaunsar - Bawar belonging to the Jaunsari tribe, which apparently trace their origin from the Pandavas.

The village almost did not have a motorable road. So we got off at one point and then climbed down a hill to reach the village. I found myself eagerly wanting to see the school. The climb down was fun. And as I turned around a bunch of 10-15 kids surrounded me and were looking at me as if I was from some different planet all together. They eagerly led me to their classroom which was as basic as you can think.
The village houses were so modest.
And it made me think how we crave for so many things and enjoy the coziness of our modern homes with all the high tech gadgets around us. For these people fending off the winter, looking after their live stock and keeping themselves warm is what a daily routine of life is all about.


From Chakrata we left the next day for a trip to Lakhamandal. I was very inquisitive to visit this place because in the Mahabharata, it has a very significant role. I can’t even begin to describe that journey. The road was almost non-existent. The turns and bends so much sharper. For miles, we didn’t run into another vehicle or saw people around. We passed several isolated houses…it was a scene straight out of an adventure movie and I just couldn’t imagine all those hundreds of years ago, people travelling to this place.
Lakhamandal is an ancient Hindu temple dedicated to lord Shiva. Lakhamandal gets its name from the two words: lakha (Lakh) meaning "many" and mandals meaning "temples" or "lingam". Plenty of artistic works were found in the excavations by the Archaeological Survey of India and it is now a heritage site.

The main attraction of this shrine is the graphite Lingam. It shines when wet and reflects its surroundings. Never have I seen such a wonder!
The local temple “pandit” asked us if we wanted to offer our prayers and opened the temple doors for us. It was a miniscule room with some more lingams. That place had some over 100 lingams which were unearthed during the excavations.

Twin statues of “Danav” and “Manav” are located beside the main shrine. The statues are its “dwarpals” (doormen). The belief is goes that when someone was dying or had just died, an appearance in front of these statues returns them briefly to life (to say goodbye to their family) before finally expiring.

One of the numerous sub plots of the Mahabharata contains the story which describes how Yudhishthira was a big Shiv bhakht and constructed this temple overnight with the help of his brother Bhim.

As I stood there soaking in all that I heard about the legends, it just made me feel so sure that a large of it could be true. I could feel the stones and the monuments shouting out to me about the history which was long forgotten. In the world of science and technology, faith and belief which have always been a corner stone of humanity is almost at a fag end of their life – most probably already lying next to the “dwarpals” awaiting the final journey. Wonder why is belief so hard nowadays?

After the temple visit, we headed to a cave called “Dhundhi Odaari”. In the local Jaunsari language, “Dhundi” or “Dhund” means misty or foggy and “odaar” or “odaari” means cave or hidden place. According to the legend, this temple and the adjoining area are believed to be where Duryodhana conspired to burn alive the Pandavas in the “Lakshyagriha” house, constructed with shellac.

Anyone who has read or watched the famous epic called Mahabharat, would remember the plot to burn the Pandavas alive. Since the Pandavas knew of the plot, a tunnel under their palace was constructed which opened out in a cave from where they fled. So there I was standing in front of this cave, thousands of years later bewildered and excited. As I stepped inside I could feel the images flash in front of me. As I moved further in, the darkness engulfed me. Ahead was a small entrance to a tunnel. Apparently the tunnel from this side is now blocked due to a landslide which occurred years ago. But standing at the entrance of the tunnel, it surely looked the legend was true. It bore the mark of history…And as I was standing there, I realized that now I am somehow a part of that history too. That the history may be forgotten but it will always live through…Somehow or the other!!!

We completed our journey and returned to Dehradoon and I had my heart in a flutter. I had some new perspectives in life….all the things we crave for in our homes, with which we define our success in life faded in comparison to the success of the Jaunsari people in living in their simple homes on those treacherous slopes. Their daily lives much more of a struggle than our journeys in air-conditioned vehicles to our haloed offices, and the villagers could still smile. And we?? Constantly complaining about how difficult life is – guess we humans can never be at peace; and if by some miracle we do find that peace within ourselves, then we know that we have truly succeeded.

So for all that my birthplace was and is, I hope it will continue to still be the place where the Gods continue to reside!!!